Thursday, September 1, 2011

Jersey Dreamin'

Required Listening:

No Pause-Girl Talk

Good Morning Bitches!

I hope ya'll are all feeling as good as me today!


Ok, now that's out of my system. I'm too cynical to ever be that excited about anything, but I am feeling pretty decent today. A full night's sleep, a large green tea in the morning, fun music while I got a little stony on the way to work (Shh... Don't tell! :) ) Oh yeah! And I dreamed yet another Jersey Shore dream. What I can remember went a little like this:

Warning: Only Pauly and Vinny ever exist in my shore dreams, occasionally Snooki and Deana are there but NEVER Sammi, JWoww, the Situation, or Ron {Except that one naughty time! ;) }

Ok, so me, Pauly and Vinny were in this old school Astro van just like my mom had when I was little. (grey exterior, red cloth interior, I dream in color) It was loaded down with luggage. We finally get to the house we were looking for and it's only candle lit, as in no power. As expected, Snooki and Deena were already there and partying regardless of the power outage. So we come in and start drinking Irish Car Bombs and fist pumping. After a couple of house songs play through (or maybe it was just one VERY long song, who knows) I decide to take Pauly in the smush room to snuggle. Well 1) the smush room was more like a velvet hallway with a decrepit looking bed 2) everyone was interrupting and trying to pull a robbery. What the hell man, he was DTF!!! Then I woke up. The end.

So let's analyze this, is there a bigger picture here? Do I have deep seated anxiety about losing someone or something? Does the power outage represent a dark time in my life? Is the Irish Car Bomb a metaphor for self  destructive tendencies?? Well hell fucking no. Let's get serious here. I need to get laid. Plain and simple.
Aunt Flo left and now I'm dying to get horizontal. Who knows if the lover will come to visit soon, I may just have to hump my husband. If he's lucky I'll shave the top half of my legs!

FYI: Thursdays are typically the slowest days for me at work so I'll have all day to think of shit to ramble about on here. Are you excited?!?!

Love and Gorillas,

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