Monday, September 12, 2011

Merrily Monday

If I'd known how desirable marriage would make me, I would've done it a long time ago! Guys have never been as eager to please as the are now that I'm rocking the double ring. Hello, it's a little late for that now! (Further proof that men are the backwards, lesser of the genders)

Just this weekend, two of my more favorite past flings appeared out of the blue. They're both fairly adorable in their own ways. Hmm.. Come to think of it, they're kind of similar in looks. That could be kinky... Sorry I'm losing my train of thought. Oh, yeah. So here's these two decent looking guys, who could easily get good girlfriends but instead, they are sending messages to a married woman about how much they miss her, on a Saturday night. Sounds retarded, right? It got me thinking, though. This can mean one of two things:

1) All guys have an ego that is big enough to make them think that being with them is worth cheating on your husband.

2) My vagina, is indeed,  made of crack. (Upon previously hearing this story I'm telling you, my dear sweet friend inquired as to whether or not my lady bits were made of crack. Good one, homie!)

Now, I'm not crazy. I know a guy will say or do just about anything to have sex. Guys typically do not take the hard road to getting some booty, though. Why put so much effort into a girl that used to be your lover but now is married to someone else when you could just go to the bar and take home a hot drunk girl for the night?  Maybe I am just that good. :) That sounds cocky, but I would be lying if I didn't say the sex with these two guys was some of the best I've ever had. (Refer to the bottom for short back stories on these boys)

So are they both just trying to prove a point or do they actually miss how things were, physically or emotionally?

Love and soap opera problems,

HomeTown- (Guy 1) The name says it all. We're both from the same shitty little existence, have literally known each other our whole lives. Never very close, but all our friends were friends with each other. I briefly dated his so called best friend in between two of my long term relationships. We have a very love/hate relationship. I'm sure everyone thinks we hate each other but that's mostly what makes it so hot. We fuss, argue and then have mind blowing sex. We first hooked up soon after I stopped seeing his friend. He knew it would upset him so Hometown agreed to keep it quiet. Then one day he gets drunk and tell his friend everything. BIG DRAMA! I basically, told them both to go to hell and leave me alone. Then I see HomeTown at a wedding reception where he proceeds to tell me that reason he confessed to his friend is because he has feelings for me. MORE DRAMA! It's was too late, though. I was already dating the soon to be Fiance/Husband. The friend eventually moved in with him and we stopped talking/hanging out. But now he lives alone again..and so close to my work... :) hhmm.....

ShyGuy- (Guy 2) We met through a mutual friend about a year after I moved to where I live now. She had really hoped we would date. So, we chatted and hung out a lot. . He was practically a virgin when we met. (One girl, one time) He wanted to date but we never did. One day, randomly, we hooked up. He was pretty clueless, so being the nice girl I am, I made him my sexual protege.  Needless to say, he knows tricks now that all girls that sleep with him should thank me for. :)  We used to sneak into the gym he worked in and have slow steamy sex in the huge hot tub. However, one thing after another happened and we had a little falling out and didn't talk for almost 2 years. We're friends once again and the attraction is still there. He's just so sweet. He honestly wouldn't even be mad if I came up for the weekend and we didn't sleep together. He's that guy.

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