Wednesday, September 14, 2011

All I want is everything!

I knew it was too good to be true. Just as soon as I picked ShyGuy, I couldn't stop thinking about HomeTown. WTF?? He's absolutely the worst possible person to get into a compromising situation with. He gossips like a girl, his best friend gossips like a girl (and oh yeah, hates that we sleep together), he's friends with one of brothers in law, and we somewhat hate each other. He's also freaking sexy. I'm not sure what fuels it, but there is a serious attraction to him. First of all, his looks have changed a little since high school. He keeps his hair in a very short buzz cut, he's very tan and muscular from working outside, he's got a certain confidence about him, and he doesn't bullshit or hold back. He's just not that same little bitch he used to be (if you don't count the part where I still don't really trust him). He's a man now. A man that can absolutely get my hormones raging with his asshole swagger and repressed insecurities. He's a hot mess and it turns me on.  Even his tattoos seem sexier, maybe because they are totally out of place on his body. Oooh, I could go on and on.

I'm sure you can see my problem now. I get everything worked out. I choose the safest and easiest plan and although it's still a devious, sexy plan, I am not satisfied. I'm going to do my best to resist him, but shit! What's a girl to do when there's so much sexy man meat swarming her??? I heard someone say the other day, (The Steelers' head coach) that you're either drinking wine or squashing grapes. Bitches, I don't squash grapes! Ever. I wine and dine and enjoy myself! I'm an O.G., playa!

Love and Pinot,

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