Thursday, October 13, 2011

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner!!

Mission accomplished!! I knew I could break him if I tried hard enough! (Confused? *See footnote.) Honestly, it wasn't even that hard. I did, however, see a new side of ShyGuy last night. He (in his own way) was being dirty! Now we've always sent dirty texts back and forth but it was all pretty generic. He actually asked for a dirty pic and then sent one in return! And I could see his **Bieber! This is such an accomplishment!!! I'm going to turn this freak out, after all! He's so good at heart and I do love that about him but I would love him more if he could put that aside every now and then and get nasty.

Now, for a breakdown on the pic. I still have so much to teach this boy.

1) He's well hung but took a pic with a flaccid tall boy. (Contrary to popular belief though, his dick isn't "discolored" it's just "dick colored".) He could've gotten more points for a swollen member, but I'm just proud that he got this far.

2) He was kind of standing sideways in the picture so you can see his kibbles and bits AND his white boy bubble butt. He's very sporty so he's got that super toned wiry body and those hip muscle things guys have that lead right into their pants. He gets double points for this. Not many guys think to include their tushies in nudie pics.

3) He has one mirror in his house. One. Who lives like that? It's a small bathroom mirror that's kind of high up. I honestly can't figure out how he got his whole (not very tall) self in the pic. Seriously, I have a feeling there was some smoke and fun house mirrors involved. He gets extra points for the level of difficulty.

Overall he scored well on his first attempt. I love getting a boy to do something he's really not comfortable doing. It's such a power trip! *insert evil laugh here*

He's such a sweet boy and we do have a good time. I'm quite tempted to go back on my word about giving up my lovers. The husband is being a real dick anyway. He's adopted this shitty tone in his voice and it really pisses me off. He says he doesn't mean to sound like that but nicka please. That's not a tone of endearing love. Regardless of what else or who else I have going on, I make a point to never let it show to him. I would like the same courtesy. I know he's mad because I sleep in the other bed sometimes but if that's that big of a deal then we might as well divorce now. I can't sleep good in the bed with him. I don't have enough space, I don't like to share blankets and I'm always worried about waking him up when I wiggle. It's just not worth losing sleep over. Literally. Like most guys though, he needs to grow the fuck up. Enough of that. I'm ruining my happy mood. Hold on and let me looked at naked ShyGuy again. *tick tock*

ahh.... Happy again. :)))

Love and pogo sticks,

*I can't remember if I shared this particular personal mission with you or not, but I made a deal that I could get ShyGuy to send me a nudie pic. He never ever has before. He's just not naughty by nature (You down with OPP??). He's sent me naked pics from the waist up but never of the goods. Until last night... ;)

** I decided that since I refer to my vagalicious as my Britney (Spears, of course) that I will refer to the male pogo stick as a Bieber. I'm a genius. You're welcome.

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