Friday, October 14, 2011

List 4: Fantasy Ranch

Required Listening:

I can't believe I'm about to admit to being the huge, tree hugging hippie that I am, but it's true. I love some animals and Mother Earth. I'm not a crazy, unshaven armpits, vegan hippie though. No, I'm the kind that actually takes a bath, dresses trendy and has a job. Secretly, I'm even a member of PETA. (I've reported my local Wal-Mart for having tattooed fish and even participated in a letter writing campaign to stop Red Lobster from buying seafood from fisherman that club baby harp seals.) I own and am obsessed with Planet Earth and Blue Planet. Needless to say, I would be an animal hoarder if my husband would let me. Which brings me to my point. At the fair this weekend, we walked through the petting zoo and I pointed out which animals I wish I owned. His only comment was, "It's a good thing we don't have a ranch. There's no telling what kind of critters you would acquire." So here's my official list of the reasonable and not so reasonable animals I would stock a farm with.

LIST #4 Animals on my Fantasy Ranch

1. Scottish Highland Cows- If a cow and an Ewok had a baby it would be this guy.
2. Mini Horses- Does this even need an explanation?
3. Silky Chickens- Because they're ridiculously flamboyant.
4. Alpacas- Free Sweaters!
5. Fainting Goats and Pygmy Goats- Drama queens and more mini goodness
6. Mini Pigs- Are you seeing a trend here?
7. Emo Bunnies- No one understands them like I do.

1. Ligers and Tions- I loved them before Napolean, damnit! Seriously, my summer camp was by an animal refuge and we could hear them roaring all night. I imagine living in Africa is similar just with more mosquitoes, less Kool-Aid and no high dive.
2. Lemurs- I will be disappointed if they can't dance like in Madagascar though.
3. Unicorn- Everyone wants one. Just admit it.

4. Pygmy Marmosets- I'll just carry these in my purse.

Ridiculousness. I know. Happy Friday!

Love and Silliness,

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