Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I Want to Live in the Center of a Circle

Required Listening: 

Home Life by John Mayer

So it's old news that I hate my life. And by hate, I mean it in the lightest sense of the word. I'm a lucky girl, no doubt. My husband adores me, my lover lusts after me, I gained 10 lbs and I'm hotter than ever but I still slightly hate it all. I have a great life, it's just not what I desired.

I admit that one of my favorite things about marriage is that I have no bills. None. Zero. Nada. I frequently indulge myself with things I don't need. Impossibly high heels that I probably will wear a maximum of two times, scads of nail polish, skanky panties, teacups etc. I'm a spoiled bitch and even I would give away all the self love for a shot at my fantasy life.

I would proudly rock second hand clothing in a big city. My happiness would define my beauty. I would sing. Really, truly bring you to tears with my sound. I don't know how I would be employed but I'd do something were I could thrive as an individual and make friends in my new surroundings. I never made the most of my current location. My anxiety has always been a burden. I'd see a band every night I could and wear my craziest outfits. I'd finally get that new tattoo I'm always talking about. Hell, I'd get two. I'd make love everyday with someone worth it. I might even enjoy knowing You in a different life too. It really would be awesome to get to re-start fresh. I just want to quench this feeling of waste.

Is it worth it to make this a reality? Who wants to go with me?

Love and Loneliness,

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