Part One of the Memories of Two Novembers
So I've been thinking. If you are going to get an accurate description of this relationship (or any other one I decide to tell you about) then you need to have a soundtrack. I'll just include a few songs that remind me of the time and person or that we listened to together.
Valencia- The Decemberists
Wolf like Me- TV on the Radio
Anything by Rod Stewart, especially Maggie May
My first older lover was my boss. He was 40. I was 20. Go ahead and think all the typical judgemental things. Done yet? Ok great. No, he didn't take advantage of my age or his position. I took advantage of his, and loved every minute of it! It started innocently enough. Flirting, letting him catch me staring him. Then one day he got "sick" at work and went home early. Later that day I sent him a text message saying, "I hope you feel better, let me know if you need anything :)" I dangled a harmless little worm on a hook and he jumped on it like a starving Great White. He replied with, "Meet me for a drink when you get off". Clearly he had no clue of my real age. Luckily though, I had a decent fake ID at the time and with a little extra makeup and a low v-neck I never got shit from bouncers. It felt like forever before I was on my way to meet him. Needless to say we were both riddled with nerves and drank to compensate. Who knew we would have so much to talk about, so much in common? Who knew by the end of the night I would almost be giddy when he asked me to come back to his house to watch a movie? This man hadn't even held my hand yet. Our knees brushing together was all it took to let me know I had to have him. When we got there he tried to resist me. He really did, I swear! But come on! I might've been new to the older man game but I was born to play it. I swept my eyes up and down his body with a smirk and he caved. His mouth was on me, our hands frantically grabbing at clothes, and with one swift movement my legs were around his waist and he was walking me to his bed. Even years later as I write this I still get that full body rush thinking about that first night with him. It was the most amazing sex I had ever experienced. From that night forward (well for about 8 months anyway) we were a secret item. Working together definitely got more exciting. Slipping each other naughty notes, stealing glances, kisses, sneaky butt pinches. We went out on the weekend and listened to bands, we hung out with his artsy friends that never passed judgement on our obvious age difference. We smoked and drank wine and had deep talks and passionate sex. For his birthday I told him I had a present for him and went in the back room to get it. I returned in a very naughty Santa outfit. I'll never forget his face when he turned around and saw me. He told me he loved me that night and I realized it was mutual. I was barely able to fake interest for my real boyfriend anymore (didn't I mention I had a bf? Oops! He's the husband now, but that's another story). We went on like this for some time until just as easily as we came together, we fell apart. He wanted to be together for real. But I just couldn't. I was a woman now and he had made me that way. I had grown an empowering sense of confidence that to this day has only been shaken by one person (the 2nd November romance) and despite how grateful I am to him for it, I just couldn't settle down with a 40 year old man. So we ceased to be. The sex was slightly harder to give up, and occasionally we still had sleepovers. But all in all we parted amicably and forever I will love him and the time we spent together. The funny thing is we both got married this year. I married the most oblivious man on Earth and he married the tiny Asian he knocked up. (Did that sound bitter? I'm truly happy for him!) I've even met her once when I ran into them in a restaurant. I politely said my congrats and shook her tiny hand while my skin burned from him running his eyes up and down me. I guess some fires never die out, they just become a manageable smolder...
Love and embers,
P.S. Don't look for Part Two anytime soon. I have to prepare myself for that one and besides, I would much rather think and talk about the current Lover. ;)